Don't Get All Alcoholier Than Thou On Me!

this article is awesome.

on a lot of levels.

first read this. i know you're already here, and that requires visiting another portal on the world wide web, but humor me. very occasionally, i humor you. now it's your turn to humor me.

anyway, enough sweet talk.

READ IT

points of awesomeness:

1) this sentence is a pride and joy: "A man who claimed discrimination after being fired from an ethanol plant for drinking "automobile fuel" has been denied unemployment benefits."

a) the man had the gumption, that's right, the gumption to claim discrimination. we'll come back to this point. i just wanted to bring attention to it.

b) why is automobile fuel in quotes? i assume it was real, and not the name of a new energy drink.

c) Fox News hyperlinked ethanol for similar stories. this isn't that unusual in their repertoire then. delightful.

2) the man's name is Cory Neddermeyer and he's 42. i couldn't make up better demographic information myself. it's just believable enough to be, well, believable. the ethanol fuel company he worked for was called Amaizing Energy. wordplay excellence factor? through the roof (because it raised the roof).

3) Neddermeyer's court statement: " 'I am a recovering alcoholic, and I thought about the availability of this alcohol throughout the day,' he wrote in a statement later provided to state officials. 'Curious about the taste and its effects, I dipped into this lake of liquor and drank what I considered to be 2 to 3 ounces. The next thing I remember is waking up in Crawford County Memorial Hospital.' "

a) why is a recovering alcoholic working at an ethanol fuel plant? and don't say they offer good benefits and do company happy hours.

b) he referred to the spill as a "lake of liquor." i predict a future book deal.

c) i like the full name of the hospital. it's classy.

4) "He was taken to the hospital, where his blood-alcohol level, according to state records, was reported at 0.72. That's almost twice the level considered potentially fatal for many adults."

a) amazing horror story with feel-good survival ending!


oh, life!
photo courtesy of Flickr and cote

as i told someone earlier this week, "real life is impeccably written."

i mean, camman, anyone who would ever think to WRITE in a Writer's Strike as part of the larger scheme of things?! GOLD, people, gold.

now if you'll excuse me, my head is spinning from wonder.